thefatjewish

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish

Contact 4 credit: Emailio.Addresstevez@gmail You can't get an STD if you never get tested.

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/sh0.08/e35/p640x640/19429267_1713398895344634_1988878812225470464_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


Who runs Campbell's Soup social media? I want to give them head for being great. HAPPY PRIDE QUEENS.

2 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/19428641_490713394606709_5999074580906377216_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


I'm in assless leather chaps for pride. Kids are the fucking worst. ( @jennyjohnsonhi5)

2 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/e35/19424882_1137575916342000_3993152758629793792_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


HAPPY PRIDE I DON'T FUCK GUYS BUT IT'S GREAT THAT YOU DO I LOVE YOU ALL (Actually, I would probably have sex with @joejonas)

3 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/e35/19428878_301967923546502_6097241066388324352_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


4 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/19367629_1625110754166496_6215785896084504576_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


Last night I put a lot of cocaine in my butthole and expected to wake up in the ICU, but somehow woke up in my bed with my phone on the charger

5 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/19228265_252400655164395_6649600360602140672_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


I've already drank 4 glasses of rosé and it's 11:30 AM. Someone is getting an oven mitt handjob from me today. DM me bruh.

10 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/19121202_613242458882953_6804790057426223104_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


11 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/sh0.08/e35/p640x640/19120404_1155848771187840_432500784345645056_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


Also, I just beat a urinary tract infection that I got in Cancun last month. TODAY IS NOT HORRENDOUS! ( @lexidahlstrom)

11 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/19050217_1702196826477002_5957844926384308224_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


I'm watching my friend who used to do a ton of coke and have sex with hookers with rugged c-section scars talk about how he's really into burrata now and might take a class to learn how to make it. BEING AN ADULT IS THE FUCKING WORST.

16 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18950433_250069765470807_5085634620158902272_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


Today is National Rosé Day, and in honor of this important holiday, I cruised around New York City in a salmon pink PT cruiser with a gospel choir singing "Let's Dance" by Lady Gaga.Because I fucking felt like it. Drink pink, bitch. @webroughtwine nationalroséday

17 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18947463_460517730961911_6877555917341065216_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


I ate a weed infused scone in Brooklyn and at first I was laughing so hard at this but now I'm too stoned and I honestly might need to go to the fucking hospital

19 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18949640_237581503394184_3876933881357664256_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


I haven’t seen my penis in 2 years. Miss you little buddy!

20 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18879726_1538683082839643_1370113722978140160_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


SOMEONE BRING COKE LET'S DO THIS THING ALSO WE NEED A DJ I'M SO EXCITED TO PARTY WITH CHRIS FARLEY ( @slutwhisperer)

25 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18722066_1332416913472486_1695829809185161216_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


How is this the inside of an instrument and not an apartment in Sweden owned by a futuristic horny billionaire with white blonde hair named Bjorn?

30 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/e15/18721814_781848501992463_8230089295499624448_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


@Malibu_rum brought me to South Africa to run on a beach in slow motion, because hot girls and dudes with sick bodies is sooooo out. YEAH @ZACEFRON I'M TALKING TO YOU AND YOUR WEIRD 12-PACK OF ABS. epicslowmo becausesummer Snapcode: malbu.us/snap

32 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18644847_262458030894472_3791778213319933952_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


I would run my tongue over Steve Buscemi's teeth for a frittata right now.

33 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/e15/18580320_288060271604374_583029552595337216_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


This video of Katy Perry is whiter than Mike Pence snowboarding into a TED talk that's happening inside a Coldplay concert that's happening inside a farmers market while drinking a saffron flavored craft beer and being offended about something while wearing cargo shorts that were autographed by Jon Stewart at a live Daily Show taping and the pockets are filled with locally sourced conflict-free burrata ( @versace_tamagotchi)

36 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18644787_1037068213104818_4052968235585241088_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


Either that or be a tiny bead of sweat running down Sofia Vergara's butt crack and into her majestic fart box during a Bikram yoga class.

38 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18513941_1942392559377971_7717656734528962560_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


Mural of me in Australia by talented hunk @lushsux. Even at that size my dick is smaller than Scottie Pippen's. He supposedly has the biggest flesh burrito of all time. @webroughtwine

39 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18579944_291006024685048_3913414118094143488_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


@delta please explain this and also the guy sitting next to me right now is watching Austin Powers: Goldmember and LAUGHING OUT LOUD and that should definitely not be allowed on a plane because first of all he's in public and secondly that movie is about as funny as a fire at an orphanage

39 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18444858_294768400949242_8188777650051874816_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


Another weird thing adults do: HAVE FUCKING CHILDREN ON PURPOSE ( @marissamiller__ )

40 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/sh0.08/e35/p640x640/18512335_2105231686370169_881724569319112704_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


ROSÉ SEASON IS UPON US. Go to www.swishbev.com and buy that pink in either a bottle or a can (yes, it comes with the long straw) and embrace your inner basic bitch. Everything is 20% off SO DO IT NOW, DON’T BLOW THIS PLZ.

41 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18514265_130863910807444_8851759178503421952_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


No, that fedora will not make you look like Don Draper. It will make you look like a colossal douche canoe.

41 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18514273_1920030068266242_7366839686918045696_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


It's like really really really shitty "Ocean's 11"

41 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18444491_417019102011748_787151382326018048_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


Why do @JoeJonas and @DNCE have a new song called "Kissing Strangers"? Is it possibly because on my radio show he and @DillonFrancis, who were strangers, played spin the bottle and ended up touching tongue tips? NOT NO.

42 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18513548_123815071516651_6001629193094299648_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


*GOLF CLAP* WELL PLAYED SIR!

43 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18382194_1334098139970556_4652389002584784896_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


Also, stop posting photos of your mom looking hot and fertile back in the day! It's fucking creepy!

44 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/sh0.08/e35/p640x640/18512637_1872048733044066_769491846899433472_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


SHOUTOUT TO TARA GRODT FOR MY FIRST HANDJOB, IT WAS DRY AND LEFT MY PENIS RED AND GLOWING LIKE E.T.'s FINGER BUT YOUR HEART WAS REALLY IN IT GIRL

45 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18298744_815557221925429_5350491865890160640_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


Happy Cinco De Mayo to anyone who voted for Donald Trump but is wearing a sombrero and a fake mustache today and chugging tequila you are literally fucking MENTAL

53 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18253085_1768383426808246_9078625179348762624_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


Nobody is probably gayer than a guy who hates gay stuff.

54 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/sh0.08/e35/p640x640/18251508_410755585961948_8539591661120913408_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


Speaking of sandwiches, I bet Liam Neeson has a footlong made of flesh in his pants.

55 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18160928_198402284004120_1250506477286719488_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


Here's a hint: they regularly buy things at a hand-churned butter shop in Williamsburg. Wait, that doesn't fucking help.

58 Days ago

thefatjewish

@thefatjewish


https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/sh0.08/e35/18160415_824977530993380_5921216362952261632_n.jpg

Comment from thefatjewish:


The only place I ever lived in that's smaller than my current Manhattan apartment was inside my dad's balls. ( @black_humorist)

58 Days ago